


Half A Nikolai

by InkRanOut



Category: bungou sutorei doggos, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: M/M, Other, Plot Twists, chuuya screaming at some point porbably, dazai is rethinking his life choices, dazai sad, fyodor is crying, fyodor is pregnant in prison, i guess this is my life now, ivan is a fuckboi, ivan!cheater bf, nikolai dies in the end (but yall should be used to it by now), nikolai is a slut, save him, this is so sad alexa play despacito
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2019-06-26 22:14:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15672327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkRanOut/pseuds/InkRanOut
Summary: Idk, something bad, probably. Read the tags





	1. 1 liek = 1 prayer fioho

**Author's Note:**

> Hewwo  
> So uh we wrote a thing with my cousin. If you're here you probably have nothing better to do so please enjoy >:3
> 
> Disclaimer: tis a trollfic but means a lot to us so feel free to embrace it as if it were your child
> 
>  
> 
> P.S.: if you find an unknown word starting with an f, das probably fyodor lol

Fyodor knew.  
He had sensed (sexed it ever since that fateful night.  
When Ivan had cometh to his room that fateful night, shirtless.

No words ever oeft gis mouth, just kisses.  
Carved into his hart.  
It was a fun night, but he stilln knew that slmeyhing ad changed inside him (shall i tell you what ;) ) when the fire nation attaccd

Despite looks, Fyodor was son (foreshadowing or what) going to bcum Thicc™  
He knewhe'd have to find a way to tell Ivan but for now he just wanted a bit of time with himselph.

It was too wate now anyway ^0^. The sin had been done*. Thewe was a a smolew Fedya inside of him uwu.

He wasn't exactly regretttinh it. But he also wasn't happy.  
This wasn't the right time (or Place) to brung a baby!!!  
He wanted to keep it. Byt he walso dudn'f. Liekmdis if u cri evrotiem

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't noticed the footsteps outside his d'hor.  
And then it was judt him and Ivan.  
Iban looked at him cheerfully in greAt grief and wondered y he was crying. He wanted to gif him a shoulder to cri on.  
But he knew Fyofor wouldn't let him (cuz he a fuckin tsundere)

Fyifir wpuldn't dare to lookat him. How could he when he was hiding such a bih secret from him.  
The guilt was killing him. It was burning he's heart.  
He wanted to scream and cry and confess.  
He wanted to know what he meant to Ivan.  
He wanted to hear that he wasn't just a fucc or just one thicc bih to him. And he wasnt even yhicc yeet (skinny thighs hewwo)

But he couldn't denied that he had had had fun.  
And now he had to face the consequences. Scared and thicc.

He quickly wiped his face and smiled at Ivan.  
It was a pained, sad, distant, disappointed, fake, forced, distracted, tired, half-smile.  
It wasn't a smile at all. (queens of plot twist)  
He soon realized his lips we're trembling and turned his head away, in a fruitless attempt to hide his shame.

Ivan stared at him with an understanding green wondering hwhT he can do to gelp.  
He wanted fio to talk to him. Scream at him. Get mad. Just say something.  
He had fixed meelings aboyt last night, two.

Normally he wouldn't feel anything after it was over. So how was this time any different? What had changed?  
Little did he know about the bond that had been born *wink wink* between the two of them.  
He wanted to think it was just him, and that things would return back to norman by the next mornigew.

That fiohohohow would come in his room and ask Ivan if he was up for a very platonic diccdown.  
Ivan would smile (as always) and accept the offer.  
But that not going to happened. Because after yesterday they cwould never go bacc to how they were.  
At the time they could only imagine that this was only the start of something bigger.

He was about to say something when SUUDEENLY they heard heavy weavy footsteps from the hahahallwau (it means corridor) and eleven police midgets (chuuya just might have been somewhere amongst them) who grabbed theodoros (fedya bby) VIOLENTLY (sorry i'm crying as i'm writing this) (tis so sad) (dazai sad)

Ivan was shook "shjsjdkdjejdidmeksmsjdjdjd" was all that ca,emof his mooth  
Fedyelaka was cryingew agew  
Chuyya was screaminggg (cos we wrote him as a midget oopsie)  
And two other policemen started making out cause they were too short to see what was going on (man same)

"Wait, Ivan-sempi" Fyodor cried "I have something to tell you!"  
Ivan giggled happily as he cried "what is it, feyda-chan just tell me"  
"Ivan-sun, noo, i still haven't told you about, about"  
"Just say it!!"  
"Ivan-sama waito onegaiplease"  
(For anyone wondering why there was no dialogue earlier in the story, it's because this shit would come out had they opened their mouths)  
"No don't go yeet" Ivan smirked, his heart hearting aye  
But fyo was still yeeted into prison despite Ivan's desperate, joyful pleas.

Little did they no that Dazai was already waiting for him in the cold prison cell, regretfully arrested for youtube crimes  
.


	2. Nikolai's Ultimate Death :'(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyodor has a hard time getting used to his new life. Dazai reminisces about the past. Ivan, giving in to dark thoughts, does the unthinkable.  
> Nikolai is here for a good time, not a long one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wait is over because we! Are! Back!!! With a brand new chapter! Follow Fyodor my good man on this thrilling adventure along with his new prison mate dazai-san and all of the other literary bitches.
> 
> My dear co-author and I wish you a nice time ~~

"Shall we have a super happy," Fyodo gasped for air but tried to appear cheerful, "chit-chat about our...."  
His voice cracked. He swallowed a sob (eheheheh swallow) but the tears kept flowing noNstop.  
Daizai couldn't help but think of that one time when Chuyya went thru this same sítúátíón (pronounced with a french accent) back in the day.  
It was interesting, to say the least.  
(Not gonna discuss this in this fic tho, sorry)  
  
Fyidor was sobbing by now, yelling out baka ivan and stuff like that and cursing the moment he went for dat ass.  
T r a g i c .  
  
Frodo couldn't help but wonder what Ivan was doing ever since the last time he saw him (twenty minutes ago btw.)  
What if he had already hooked up wih someone else??  
Definitely not w/ Nikolai tho.  
Nikolai was his best friend. He would never do that to him. Not ever. He was his absolute best friend. They watched Fight Club together.  
  
Dazai lowkey just wanted to die and the fact that Frollo was in for life (eleven of them) wasn't he,ping.  
But he couldn't just let him cry like that. It was pissing him off so he had to think of something to make him stop.  
"Did you fuck Ivan" was the best way that came to his mind.  
To his surprise, Fyodoros just paused for a moment, and then cried harder.  
  
Dazai sighed, took a deep bweath to twy and cawm himslef.  
He wasn't going to spend eweven wives babysitting Fyodow in pwison. That was a fact. A fucked up fact at that.  
And it hurt (spilled some angst here oops)  
  
Dazai decided to take matters int his own hands, see what was going on with Fyoh that made him so terribly sentimental and OOC (the fuckng writers' fault)  
  
\---  
  
*hardcore hot yaoi lemon alert*  
  
Ivan was casualy siting with Nikolai, trying to colect himselph because of what had hadpenned with Φyodor. He knew that could trust Nikolai and now that the love og his life was gone he really could use the comfort of his friend's (stronk) arms  
  
Nikolai was very eagre to help him in any way he could òwó and by that we mean *any* way *wink wink*  
So he did what every best friend would do ;))))) (see where we're going with this)  
  
Stood up walked in frotnt of Ivan and tore off his clothes. Ivan was lyk,,,,,,,,, bitch??????? what  
  
Suddelbyb music started playing and Nikolai shkekd his dummy thicc boott on sync with smile.dk Butterfly in the good ol ay ay ay way  
  
Ivam immediately thought c u r s e d but after he thought about it for the secofn time maybe it wanst all that bad.   
  
Nikolai was a handsome guy who also happened to be a hoe. And like,,,,, you dont find that everywhere. So hw took the lead. Of the lube. Nikolai was already nakid all nice and dsexy and he was thirsting for the d (not our fault go check the tags)   
  
"choke me daddy" echoed through tge city as ivan finallg gave into the tempation of Nikalai's dat ass  
  
\---  
  
Fedya my bitch cried himself to slep and dazia could finalyy rest now that the heartbreaking sobs had finally ended.  
  
Ferdo fell into an uneasy sleep with tears still streaming down his pale cheeks. His breathing was beginning to even out as his consciousness slowly slipped away from him.  
  
(ooooo toldja we could write)  
  
Dazai, on the other hand, ciuldn't sleep after what he had witnessed 2day. he was starting to reLize that he also missed his husband4life (dazai sad vol 2)  
  
Last time he saw the fedora bastard, the bitch had told him that he needed to move on with his life. and he took the kids dmvlgjaljsg  
  
Dazai's heart had been split in ~Half~ (tis foreshadowing btw) (read on to find out what happened to the last person who took da D™)  
  
\---  
  
nikolai rip split in two by ivan's da D™  
He was a slut, he will be missed. F.  
  
(x_x <\--- nikolai rn)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *kisses u on forehead* hey kid gimme yo feedback

**Author's Note:**

> *aka this fic
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and kudos make us stronger. Eventually we will rule the world.


End file.
